I'm Tired I Have To Push Through This

Perspective. When I started working out last August I decided that if all I could do was workout, eat, and rest, then that's what I would do. At that point I had already decided in January to start focusing on myself and focusing on living in the present. I had decided to push through my Fibro pain and fatigue in my own way.

This morning when I was doing push-ups. I asked Khris why I can't do them better. My push-ups are not pretty.  I'm nice and flat. I have good position. I don't stick my butt up or round my back or anything. I just can't lower myself down very far and still push myself back up. It's like I do half push-ups. I can do about 10 of those, sometimes.  I can do knee pushups a little lower.

He said because I'm tired. I do them in the middle of the workout after other things like battle ropes and chest presses.

He said instead of thinking why can't I do them better, I should just always think, I'm tired; I'm going to need to push myself through these.

It's funny. I love the variety of things we do in training. We move from one thing to the next all the time. The trainers on the internet and television do things and say 50 reps.

I've never done anything for 50 reps except for kettlebell swings and I don't do 50 very often. It's usually 10-15 and then something else and then 10-15 more.

It only takes 10 walkouts or burpees to get me sweating and working hard, especially if it's part of the entire workout. And while I love the fun and creative things the most, it's the basic things, like push-ups, that give me an idea of how I'm doing.

At home, it's the cool variety of things that are the most fun: reading, or blogging, or shopping, or swimming,  but it's the basic things like laundry and cleaning and resting that let me know how I'm doing.

I have to change my perspective. I used to only do knee push-ups. Now I do knee push-ups and regular push-ups. I used to train twice a week. Now I train 3 times a week and go to classes 2 or 3 times a week and yoga 2 or 3 times a week.

I used to have a hard time taking a shower once a week. Now I take showers 2-4 times a week. I wash my workout clothes every week. I'm no longer in much pain. I'm happier. I'm way stronger in every way than I was a year ago.

When I look around and wonder why I'm not keeping up with my housework or why I don't have it in me sometimes to do more, I have to think, I'm tired, I have to push through this. I'm going to be tired sometimes and pushing through this looks and feels different now.