Falling is fun!

All the motivational posters talk about falling and getting back up and it's not about how many times you get knocked down but how many times you stand back up. That's not the falling I'm talking about. I mean actually falling.

Not falling where you hurt yourself, but falling and laughing. Khris says I fall gracefully. In slow motion. Somehow deliberately. I haven't fallen in a while. I usually fall from lunges, but today I fell from pull-ups.

I do pull-ups with one foot in a gigantic rubber band. And when I get out, the leg in the band likes to fling forward. I don't know exactly what happened today, but as Khris was trying to unband me, I just knew I was going down. I said, I'm going to fall. He said, no you're not. (I think he thought I was unsure of myself, but if I actually speak up about something, I'm pretty certain.)

I said, yes, I am, as I went down in slow motion and somehow grabbed the band to slow myself as I did a nice crooked leg and then butt land on the floor with my arms in the air holding the band to get my points for sticking the landing!

Falling is fun! I like falling! It means I'm in the moment. I'm not being tentative. I'm not thinking about what's going on around me. I'm trying my best. I don't care what I look like.

What I look like was a topic that came up today in other ways. A lady walked by us and stopped Khris and told him how he has been doing such a good job with me and that I've lost so much weight.

Khris and I talked about some things dealing with body and how he pays attention to what you can do, not your weight. Your weight is your responsibility. He pays attention to if you're able to do exercises better or your form is improving, if you can lift heavier weights and things like that.

He pays attention; that's certain! I did 10 straight-leg lifts on the standing apparatus and I must have made a grunt on the first one and he asked what that was about. I told him my back just hurt.

He asked more questions and determined that my back was probably hurting lately from the pressure of the situps and leg lifts on the floor and said we'd do planks and other core work instead of sit ups and leg lifts. He even had me do extra stretches for my back.

We also talked about the waist band on my pants that might press into the floor and bruise my back. During our conversation he told me something I thought was very interesting. As we talked about different clothes for the gym, he told me how he used to make some girls do burpees if they fixed or adjusted their shirts all the time during the their workouts.

He told them they were coming to the gym to work on themselves and they were already self-conscious every time they walked outside about how people might be looking at them. In the gym they were not going to worry about people looking at them. If their shirt hiked up because they were doing an exercise, that's what happens. He was going to punish them for paying attention to that and letting that affect them.

I liked that. The gym should be a place to be free. Everyone is there to become their better selves and should be respected for that. It's not a competition, it's a support system. It's a place where it should be fun to fall!

My Cheerleader

Yesterday I went to a new class in the evening. It was a cardio drill class. It was similar to the Friday class I go to, but a little more cardio minutes than strength. And I usually work out in the morning when the gym is pretty empty and not so filled with the humidity of the sweat of the day in the air.

I love classes and I learned from the 80s and 90s aerobics divas at dive Chicago gyms and Bally's and VHS tapes! You do what you can and if you can't keep up, you march in place for a bit or do a basic step until you can join in again. And I love doing exercise to the music.

I was doing okay, but I was running out of steam pretty early in the class after trying to do actual jumping jacks and trying some of the higher impact steps.

At some point I realized Khris was at the other side of the room training with someone and I caught his eye. I could tell he could see I was out of breath. He gave me a silent signal to go get some water as I shook my head letting him know it was a little tough. So I did.

But I also got a shot of energy from him from across the room. I felt like he was cheering for me! Even if he knew other people in the class, I felt like he was giving me special vibrations.

When I went out to get water later in the class, Khris was near the water fountain by a machine with his client training. He stepped away from his client for a second to come and talk to me.

He told me to pace myself and take that corner of the room and make it mine. He said I didn't see it, but I was doing great. He said not to let the room psyche me out. He said when the push-ups minute came, I was the only one in the room to do full push-ups until I couldn't do anymore and then I went to my knees. The rest of the room did the whole minute on their knees. He was proud of me.

I went to another class this morning and we did some circuits. When I did the battle ropes, I heard someone whisper, those are high! And Mike, the teacher, said, yeah, that's the point.

I was proud of myself, but more so I was proud for my trainer! I don't compete with people! I'm very yoga! I don't want to be better than anyone else. I am always in my own space. I don't watch other people.

BUT! I do love that people know that I train with Khris and that the training pays off. And I always think my battle ropes are ugly, but maybe they are getting pretty! I like making Khris proud. And even Mike told me he was proud of me after class. I like having cheerleaders!

Fibromyalgia and Training

As we were scheduling my appointments the other day, I mentioned to the receptionist at the dentist about my training. She said that she used to have a trainer and she needed to get back to it. I mentioned my weight loss and how I loved my trainer and how my training had helped my pain. She naturally said how losing weight takes pressure off of your body and helps pain.

I'm sure that's true for many conditions like knee pain and some back pain, but I told her how the training is really what has helped, not the weight loss. I really think this is an important point for people who have Fibromyalgia to understand. They recommend exercise, of course, for people with Fibromyalgia, but most of us find it hard to do exercise or we do exercise that is too wimpy because we're in so much pain and we're so exhausted.

I've found out quite by accident that it's intense exercise, and weight training, not cardio, that is what I needed to help my Fibro pain. It is tough and it wears me out, but it took away my pain. It's not the weight loss. I repeat. It's not the weight loss that took away my pain.

I had lost 40 pounds before I started training and I was still in the same amount of pain and exhaustion that I was in before I lost any weight. I felt a little better enough to want to start to exercise, but the aches in my muscles, the sharp pains in my ribcage and my pressure points, the pain in my heels and arches, the pain in my skin, and all the accompanying heavy pain simply from having relentless pain, had not gone anywhere.

When I started to train, it was only a matter of weeks before my pain was almost gone. I went through a period of emotional releases where the digging into the muscles was letting out all sorts of pain that had been stored in those muscles for who knows how long. I was exhausted. I did not much of anything except workout and rest.

In the subsequent months, I have started to have more energy, take more showers (without pain), keep up with my laundry and cleaning, go shopping more normally and other regular people things!

I am without the level of constant muscular pain that I used to experience as part of my daily life. I still have lower back pain, but that is knots I'm still working through, not Fibromyalgia flaring. I still have exhaustion, but not the crushing fatigue that is Fibro fatigue.

I'm thrilled with my weight loss and the changes in my body, don't get me wrong. But I really want people to understand that the pain going away is not because I lost weight, it's because I got a trainer.

Easier Said Than Done

Say what, KBuddah? Khris posted today and always says how useless the phrase easier said than done is. It really is. It sort of proves the actions speak louder than words and talk is cheap phrases.

But easier said than done keeps us in denial. It's a way to admit that whatever is being talked about is indeed true or favorable or desirable, but it requires work and action and effort. It requires a change in habits or attitude and we really aren't in the mood for all that right now so we just toss out easier said than done.

Everything is easier said than done. And I'm not judging. Everyone's priorities are different at different times. Denial is a powerful coping mechanism. Goals can seem overwhelming and we can become paralyzed by the magnitude of what we think is ahead.

If we can figure out what small action doesn't seem easier said than done, and  not worry about ever getting to the ideal, we can stop tossing that phrase around so much and just keep doing and doing.

What's the worst that could happen?

This Tour Keeps Getting Better and Better!

I like that analogy for my training. The tour does keep getting better and better! And I don't have to think about it ending and going home ever. It is a never-ending tour! You never get home-sick and want to go home. You're already home, but always on vacation at the same time! It's every awesome thing and oxymoron and paradox and mixed metaphor there is. It's Peter Pan and The Rock.

My workouts are getting tougher and easier at the same time. They are getting more challenging and more fun at the same time. The sit-ups that used to be hard are now my active rest.

I am doing 5 pull-ups with Khris pushing on the bottom of my foot for the last 2 instead of holding me by my waist and helping me up.

Khris is a closet introvert. He is not really an introvert in the true sense. I think he is energized by people. But he is a quiet soul. He doesn't shine spotlight on himself or on you in a way that points out your improvements. He lets them sit there. He lets you figure them out. He's an introvert's best friend. He's an observer.

He really does believe in you in a way that is not false. It somehow allows you to find your way. I did the coolest looking thing today--battle rope burpees. I still can't do pretty burpees; I have to have wide legs.

I can't propel my body weight back behind me yet. But I can do them better than when I started. I don't just step back anymore. I jump back. But I was insecure about jumping back from the floor and not the higher level of a step or a BOSU.

I don't usually question, but he said, talk to me. He told me he knew I could do it, I was just unsure and to just push myself back even if they landed short, just land short and jump back in. By the time I got to 15, I was tired and my legs were nice and crooked in a Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation pose. But I was doing them.

I'm pretty sure I got a good smirk from him as he stood behind me where I couldn't see him. I like that. I like the smirk.

I usually get a smirk when I am smirking in my own head the whole time, too--because I think it's pretty slick what I'm doing.

He had me do 8 more of those at the end of the workout. He told me he thought I surprised myself more than I surprised him. He said he wasn't surprised at all.

I have always enjoyed classes and even DVDs or other structured workouts more than trying to go to the gym and do things like the treadmill or workout on my own or even walking around my neighborhood when I used to walk for exercise.

I still love my yoga classes and I like one class at the gym. But I also had every misconception that is out there about personal training. Boy was I wrong.  Personal training is the best tour ever!! And it keeps getting better and better!

Meet Khris!

KBuddah Training: Meet Khristopher Argue, My Personal Trainer

Your Tour Guide 

Please meet Khris Argue, my personal trainer, your tour guide for health and wellness. Khris compares being a good trainer to being a good tour guide.

If you have a bad tour guide, the city can be wonderful, but your experience might not be so great. 

When you have a great tour guide, you find yourself cared for. You may keep waiting for the grand finale, but it never comes. Instead, you end up thinking this tour just keeps getting better and better.

The guide cares about you and wants your experience to be fantastic. He may even be able to pull a few strings and get you into some special exhibits or events going on. 

The guide is always thinking about you. You aren't just a number and it's not just a job. You are a person. The guide doesn't ever want to think, "Did I let this one down?" 

Background

Khris is a certified personal trainer, but his unofficial certification began when he was about 8 years old through experience. He watched, observed and learned from his family members. He observed obesity and alcoholism along with excuses and a lack of awareness.

According to Khris, he learned that he didn't want love; love came with stipulations and rules. That's where we get the idea of unconditional/conditional love. He wanted compassion. Compassion he saw in his grandmother and other women in his life: compassionate beings manipulated by what they thought was love. 

As a kid he got the feeling that something just wasn't right about many things. As kids, you were told "because I said so". He learned to ask why. If you don't ask why you can't find other options, alternatives. The why makes you think. Creates awareness.

In the neighborhood there were corner stores, chicken shacks and other unhealthy things. He wanted to find out what other options there were. He ventured out. Did his own research. Started to ask the right questions. 

Khris talked quite a bit about options and awareness. If people are aware of all of the options and choose to make bad decisions, then that's their choice--that's poor character.

But he wants to make sure that people have some awareness of the good options so they aren't just making bad decisions because they have no guidance or knowledge and the bad is the only option they have. 

Helping Hand 

Figuring out your why allows you to be calm and accept the helping hand of the trainer.

Khris talked about how many clients come in bullying themselves under the guise of "admitting" their faults and that makes it harder for the trainer.

Just saying you're fat or weak or old or just have to live with the pain--making those A.A. type statements--doesn't get you anywhere.

You need to decide what you want. Do you want to lose weight? To be healthier? To get stronger? To look better? To make your back feel better? To lower your cholesterol? Your A1C?

Vanity and health are perfectly valid reasons to want to workout. The trainer wants to help you and once you accept what you want rather than continue to bully yourself and reject the help, you can be calm and work together.

It's not the trainer's job to just tell you what to do; that's a common misconception. You're there to work together. You are part of the process. You're taking the tour. 

Passion and Persistence 

When you speak to Khris, you feel his passion and persistence. He has a confidence that benefits the client. He told me that he feels like with the right amount of time and energy, he can fix it all. He can't allow people to fail. He can't allow excuses.

It becomes a science project to him. He listens, observes, analyzes, visualizes. He cares. He said if a trainer isn't exhausting all options for you, that's a limitation on your health and you are not a priority, you are a number.

It's a big deal that you are trusting him with your body. You shouldn't just believe in your trainer, your trainer should believe in you. Another misconception is that a trainer should be a drill sergeant.

It shouldn't be a love/hate relationship. You shouldn't feel like you love the results, but you hate being there. Or you love the idea of it, but you hate the work. You should love what's going on. The happy feeling should be contagious. 

It may look confusing from the outside. Khris says some people find him intimidating when they observe him from the outside. They see how hard the clients are working and then they also see the high fives and hugs and wonder how the two mesh. But they do. 

He says he's the opposite of intimidating.  He just accepts no excuses. He describes his style as passionate, quiet and engaging. 

Change Your Mindset 

Khris's motto comes into play with many of the topics that come up during a conversation about personal training. 

Changing your mindset comes into play with the idea of health and wellness itself. He says we've gotten away from the idea of feeling and abilities in favor of image as we've glamorized fitness.

Clients often have to change the way they view things as he teaches them to look at their accomplishments over numbers on the scale.

For example, when a client was disappointed about losing only 10 pounds, he asked her if she remembered when she couldn't do a certain number of push-ups or when certain things were more difficult, or when she didn't have as much energy, etc.

He asked her if she would trade those 10 pounds back for the growth in those exercises, and her energy, etc. 

Khris says he likes to use those types of analogies to help his clients become more aware. He likes to strip things away and watch his clients as they start to see things become clearer, nod and tell him, yes, that makes sense. You can't always just tell people things and have them understand. They have to get to a point where it makes sense to them.

Khris's clients usually bring up diet on their own. They start to see that if they cut corners with their diet they are only hurting themselves the same way they hurt themselves if they cut corners with their workouts. They are ready then to receive some guidance and information that can help them. 

Successful Clients 

Khris couldn't think of one or two words to describe what his successful clients had in common, but I think he did a great job at using lots of words. He said they have a common energy or aura. They are genuine and passionate. They come in with their eyes open and mouths closed and with an open heart.

They have their guards down, they are attentive, and are ready to receive. They've seen it all are are very accepting, They are like, let's try it. He said there isn't just one word in the English language to describe that kind of trust.

Kanye Meme

Khris brought up the Kanye meme! Something about being the coach that's like the Kanye meme! I can't quite put it into the exact words and he couldn't either.

But he's the coach who loves you and believes in you more than you love you or than Kanye loves you or Kanye loves Kanye. And you need to love yourself as much as Kanye loves Kanye.  Something awesome and something Kanye!!

Final Thought 

I hope you enjoyed meeting my trainer. If you've read any of my blog posts, you may be aware of how much I love him and how much he has changed my life in the last several months since I met him. I'd like to do more interviews with him as I continue my blog and continue to train with him. Feel free to comment below or on social media.

Based on verbal interview with Khris Argue on 3/7/2018.

Find out more about contacting Khris, following him on social media and other information on his website: 

KBuddah Training Website