More Paradox: Why Personal Training is an Introvert's Dream

Before I started training, I never thought I would like a personal trainer. I thought it would be the worst thing possible for me as an introvert. I don't like spotlight. I'm not motivated by external approval or accountability. Often it's irritating to me; I don't like having to explain myself to other people. I don't like to be pushed or yelled at to do things I don't want to do; I'm very independent.

Now that I'm training, the things I thought I'd hate, I either love or they are not what I thought they'd be. Introverts don't like spotlight, but we like to be recognized and noticed in subtle ways and we like to enjoy time with people one on one. 

Training is one on one. The spotlight isn't so bright that way. It's not the spotlight that you get when the focus is on you in front of a big group. This is very relaxed. It's personal. Introverts love personal. 

You'd think an introvert would love working out alone, but the paradox for me is that I hate working out alone. I don't mind hiking or kayaking alone sometimes, but I hate working out at the gym alone. I love classes, group training, yoga and especially personal training. 

In classes, yoga and group training, I still get to occupy my own space and have my own connection with the instructor, but I get to have someone guide me through the workout and give me cues and I get to experience the work. 

When I go back to the information about the hero role in families of alcoholics, we don't know how to be part of groups. We know how to lead, but we don't know how to be part of the group. As an introvert, being in training and in classes is an in-between. I'm part of a group that I'm not leading, but I'm still by myself. 

I'm getting the attention that I didn't get as a kid and that I don't get when I'm the leader giving the attention. But it's not too much attention that it's embarrassing or overwhelming. 

I'm still learning how to be part of a group. But my introverted nature loves the personal attention that I get with personal training. I love the meditative nature of it. I don't feel like I'm being watched, but rather I feel like I'm being cared for and attended to and encouraged. 

It's not about yelling at me to motivate me to get to some magic result. That's ego. That's the ego of the trainer. This is about respect for me and for the activities and for the trainer. Respect for body. For being gentle and caring and focused and calm and strong. 

The most interesting paradox is that although I'm not really motivated by external forces--I won't do better because someone is yelling at me or because someone will be disappointed if I don't or someone says to keep trying, I actually will do better when I have someone leading me and paying gentle attention to me. 

I like having the guidance and direction and support. I like having someone tell me where to put my feet and how to adjust my form. I like having someone be aware that I am there. I like being attended to. I like not being the leader. I like having a leader. And as an introvert, I don't fight it. I accept it. I enjoy it. I receive it. I actually crave it. Beautiful paradox.