Sore vs Pain

On my Facebook memories for today I was reminded about my trip to Atlanta 2 years ago to attend the mid-season premiere viewing party with some of my zombie friends at an Atlanta bar. It was a fun trip. I flew in on a Saturday and met my friend Tracey to see some Walking Dead locations and we hung out at the cool goat farm art coffee house where they filmed some of The Hunger Games.

Then Sunday I slept in and had room service and took a shower before I ubered to the bar and met my friends for some Walking Dead trivia and watched the fantastic episode. The next day I flew home. Here are some of the things my Facebook memories had to say:

Travel is good for you! It's good for your mind and your spirit. Just being in a different place and seeing different things. Being away from your normal life. It's just good for you.

Wow! Fibro is a bitch. I am sitting crying in pain and exhaustion just from standing and going thriugh the security line and it's taking 10 minutes to get my shoes back on and get up to catch the train to the gate. I'm so glad I pushed myself to come here. It was so much fun. I'm 51 and feel 101. And I look exhausted with 10 chins in my pictures. But that's who I am now. Off I go...to the gate! My luggage is cute!!

I had forgotten how much pain I was in on the way home until I read that again. I remember now sitting on a bench putting my shoes on after going through the security check and feeling like I had to learn how to accept that I was a person who had to live with chronic pain now. I remember crying in pain and a depression of sorts trying to make sense of it.

Now things are so much different. I just don't feel the same pain anymore. It's only been about 6 months of this change-of-pain living. I have pain sensations in my body at different times, but I don't have chronic, persistent, unrelenting pain anymore. This is a huge distinction. It's the unrelenting nature that changes you.

When my trainer mentions that I might be sore, it's interesting to me. I suppose I do get sore occassionally. But maybe because of my history with pain, I just don't care. Sore is easy to handle. Sore you notice when you sit down or when you walk or when you turn a certain way. It isn't present constantly. Sore you know is temporary. Sore doesn't affect your emotions. Sore leads to something good. I just don't mind sore.

I'm still amazed that my pain has gone somewhere. I am so grateful that it has. I so enjoy working out and using my muscles and getting stronger and having fun doing interesting things. The tomboy in me is having a blast. And I am grateful to have a place to go and a friendly face to see there. To feel 41 or 31 instead of 101 now. I don't have to teach myself to accept a life of chronic pain anymore. I don't have to make sense of that. I don't care if I can't make sense of how the pain went away. I'm just glad it went!