My Trainer Was Smirking Today

My trainer was smirking today when I was doing some regular push ups. Not knee push ups, but regular push ups. They were not very low push ups. I just lowered myself a tiny bit, but I did them. I had to do the last 2 of the 12 after a little rest, but I did them. I don't know why he was smirking, but he was smirking.

I always tell him he can smile. I wonder sometimes what he is like with his other clients who have different personalities than I have.

I have an unusual gym personality. I don't say a lot about the actual exercises we're doing. I talk sometimes, but I I don't ask how I'm doing or I don't comment about if things are hard or easy or ask if I'm doing okay.

And he doesn't do a lot of commenting either. He will say one or two words or use a nod or a gesture to let me know I'm on the right track. Or he'll let me know playfully if I need to do something over because it was weak or ugly.

He is just the right style for me. He doesn't yell or push in mean ways and he doesn't over compliment or over encourage, both of which can be too distracting, fake, dramatic and embarassing.

He's very minimalist, observant and attentive. He likes to break down little bits of information and model things so I can see and feel how the tiny shifts are important, which is very helpful.

I was thinking back on when I first started and I wanted to make sure he knew I couldn't jump or do anything high impact and I had limitations because of my Fibromyalgia. Now that I know him, I think that he knew then that he would trick me into moving past those limitations. Now I am doing jump squats and burpees and have moved from knee push ups to regular push ups. And he is smirking.

I like getting to the reps that are so hard that I can't do them and have to really struggle and he has to add his finger and help me or he has to tell me to stop and then I wait a minute and do the last few after a tiny break. I like that. I like that feeling. I like falling because I haven't done something and I don't know how it feels yet. I like doing ball throws against the wall the second time when I have the hang of it a little better and can make one of the 5 throws really crash against the wall.

I like that when I did my burpees today, when I jumped back I landed steady on the floor and when I jumped forward I landed flat on my feet instead of on my toes. I like that I was smirking in my head the whole time I was doing those burpees because I knew that they were so much better and smoother and more solid than they had ever been before.

I hope I can get my trainer to smirk again soon!