Training Anniversary

This is my second action anniversary of the year. As I said in my first action anniversary post, I'm not a big anniversary or celebration person, but I am going to reflect a little bit. My first action anniversary was deciding to lose weight in general. I decided I was going to do it and I decided to address eating and not worry about exercise at that time.

I had done it the other way around so many times and I was in too much pain and too tired at the time to even try it with exercise. I was rebelling. But I was also very committed and very nonchalant at the same time.

I knew it was going to happen and I knew it was going to take time and I didn't care. I wasn't in any kind of competitive mode and I wasn't going to allow myself to get frustrated. I was in the perfect frame of mind. This wasn't going to be a short-term project.

I was in the right frame of mind, but my mind could never have imagined the places that my frame of mind was going to allow me to go. I was seeking to be happier. I was making my environment very minimalist to allow me to keep it neat and clean without getting overwhelmed or overtired. (Little did I know that eventually I would have to get rid of all of my clothes, not just to organize and get rid of old things and things that didn't serve me anymore, but because nothing fit me.)

I was feeling happy about having lost 40 pounds last summer and I was ready to get moving and exercise and do some yoga. I didn't think I would do anything strenuous. I wanted to get out of the house. I wanted to have some fun. I wanted to feel a little better.

If you've read any of my blog you know that I met my trainer that way. It was a fluke. I showed up to Blast Fitness, which I had joined online months earlier because it was cheap and they offered some classes, including yoga.

I had gone to the yoga studio, which I loved, but it was expensive. I figured if I could get a few classes at the cheap gym, I could stretch out the ones at the studio. And maybe they'd have a step class or some other class I'd like at the cheap gym.

Well, I showed up one day at the beginning of August with my yoga mat and there was a sign on the door that said the yoga teacher quit unexpectedly. So I sat down at the desk to get my ID card for the future and they brought Khris over for a free personal training assessment.

Oh shit was my first thought. I do no want a personal trainer. I can't afford it. I don't want it. I don't want someone telling me what to do or telling me that everything I do is wrong. Crap.

Well, he talked to me and he was attentive to my muscular knots and did some stretching and found every knot in my body. Mostly he talked to me and there was just something about him that told me that I needed to do something that I don't ordinarily do. I needed to do this. I said, sign me up. I knew it would give me a structure for the next 2 months.

It was twice a week and at that time, I did just those 2 days and I rested the remainder of the week. It's hard to remember now, but I was still in a lot of pain. I still wore gym shoes with orthotics because my heels and my arches were so bad. I remember crying at home from emotional releases from the muscles. I remember being worn out from just 2 days a week.

I also remember at some point that I just didn't feel the same pain in my muscles anymore. I don't remember when, but at some point I felt confident enough in my feet to buy Nike gym shoes instead of orthotic gym shoes. I had been getting cortisone injections in my heels at least twice a year for a long time because I could barely walk on my feet. At times it felt like I was walking on crushed glass and my calves were so tight from the arches that my steps were like a grandma.

I remember getting up from doing sit-ups or exercises on the floor and I could get up! It used to take me at least a minute to get up from the floor. Sometimes I would need to use a table or a chair for help. Sometimes I had to have people help me. My students used to help me up from my chair sometimes.

I could go on about how it used to be, but let's get to how it is now! I'm still tired. I still have some pain. (Oh, my back! )
But.....

I feel skinny! I feel like I can wear jeans and a t-shirt and not look like a blob!!! I can take a shower and not cry! I love yoga again! I can exercise 5-7 days a week! I can get up off the floor easily! I love eating good food! I never have digestive problems! My muscles never radiate aches the way they used to like a Fibro person would understand. The pain is deep under there; if I push, my muscles hurt underneath, but I don't ache all the time!!

I love to exercise! I am happy! I know how to rest so I can kick ass and feel good enough to kick ass again.

To Khris:

Thank you for helping me to see a better me than I knew was here. You have a special gift. You know how to challenge and push and still be compassionate and kind. You knew how to read me and knew what I needed. You were always genuinely happy for me when I expressed my gratitude and my emotion about how much you've changed my life. Thank you for being my cheerleader, my friend, my hero and my trainer.

I look forward to creating new intentions as we start another year together and I can't wait to see what magic and surprises await!