Dead Bug!

Today in my training I broke through the pain and emotional agony of whatever was happening to me by turning into a dead bug. Khris doesn't realize how yoga he is in his philosophy and training without actually doing yoga. In yoga we see how still and calm we can be within the stress and strength of a pose.

For some reason today I got to a point in the workout where it was just tough. I have had some other stress going on that I'm sure I have internalized and the workout was letting it out. I think Khris saw it and he gave me some basic situps and leglifts. I was having a hard time with the leglifts and actually making noise with them. I almost started to cry and I put my elbow over my face.

I'm not sure if Khris saw that or not because there were other people working out in our area today and I didn't look to see. I wasn't giving up. He asked me if I knew what a dead bug looked like. I put my arms up in the air and my legs up in the air. I told him he was just trying to distract me from crying. He said, no, you're going to cry doing this!

So I kept my arms straight up in the air and my legs straight up in the air and he told me to keep them there until I couldn't hold them there any longer. Well, you can't cry when you're a dead bug. You're too busy being a dead bug. You have to put every bit of mental and physical and emotional energy you have into staying completely still and holding those arms and legs straight. He waited until he saw my legs start to shake.

They started to shake. Then shake more violently. Then they started to bend at the knee. Then they started to fall slightly toward the ground and he walked up behind me to hold them up. Then he finally let them go.

He helped me up and we moved on to some other things. Time was probably over, but Khris spent extra time with me today. I did some new things and he had me try some really challenging new things. He had me try these challenging new things AFTER I was a dead bug.

I died and came back to life! I pushed through! I didn't push through by continuing to move. I didn't push through by taking a break. I pushed through by being still and being strong at the same time. Yoga should have a pose called Dead Bug!