Unexpected Events

I had my skin cancer removed from my neck the other day. I had had it removed once before, actually twice before. The first time I had it frozen or burned off with liquid nitrogen. The second time I had it excised and stitched.

This time I had Mohs surgery, where they cut it out and stitch it. They examine what they cut out to make sure that there is no cancer anywhere around the area they examine or they go back and continue until everything is clear. Fortunately, she cut out plenty the first time so then she stitched it up. It is a rather large area, about 3 and a half inches on my neck to the back of my ear.

I didn't realize how long the incision would be. I knew it would be bigger than the last time, but it is really big. I remembered that it hurt a little afterward the last time and I was worn out a little, but you always forget things like that after time passes.

This time because the incision is so long, it really pulls when I turn my neck. I will really have to make adjustments and take special care when I return to yoga.

I've learned how far I've come in the last year in so many ways and how grateful I am about so many things. I'm grateful that I spent so much of my life in my teaching career, which allowed me to do the work I always wanted to do and loved to do.

I'm grateful that somehow that work also came with benefits that I never anticipated, mainly, the ability to retire early and even retire extra early because of my medical issues. I worked my ass off and gave my heart and soul during the 29 years I taught. But not many people get to retire as early as I have, even with the pay cut, and I have health insurance.

I have time to take care of myself. If I was still working, I wouldn't be able to train and rest the way I can now, which has completely changed my pain management, and my health and my disposition. After having the skin cancer procedure, I'm reminded how much my body doesn't bounce back from traumatic experiences the same way as other people's bodies do. I'm not allowed to exercise right now, and it's a good thing.

I've been sleeping until noon. I'm exhausted. I went out today for just a few hours. I just came home and I'm completely wiped out. It's the way I used to feel all the time, but without the allover pain. I do feel like my new healthier body and training has given me a better bounce back than I would have had previously.

I think i will recover from this faster and better than I would have before. But it is reminding me that I have to listen to my body. I can't rush back to training or yoga just to be cool. Khris told me not to rush, he said to look how far I've come and that we have plenty of time. That made me feel supported and good.

I didn't expect this little set back. I asked when I could exercise. I forgot to think about when I would be ready to exercise. But I know now that my body will guide me and Khris will guide me to do the proper things. I don't feel upset or deflated about this weird turn of events. If I lose a little bit of something when I return, I'll get it back soon enough.