Action Anniversary

I'm not really big on anniversaries, birthdays, graduations or ceremonies, rites of passage in general. I know they are cool things that cultures have, they just aren't me. I don't make big deals of them. I'm not going to make a big deal of this one either.  I am going to think about it a little bit though. It was a year ago that I decided to do something about my weight. I only know about it because it was the first date I wrote in my log. I don't even keep that log anymore. I don't need it.

Khris often talks about actions and reactions. It was the day I took action. Actions have reactions. I'm not going to use science here, I'm going to use behavior. We react and have responses and there are natural reactions and consequences. When we take action there are reactions or results we hope for and anticipate and there are results and consequences that come as complete surprises.

You see we don't anticipate all the variables. We can't. And the results lead to new actions that lead to more results that lead to more actions that we never even dreamed of. At least that's what happened to me this last year.

Looking back, it's hard for me to even remember the emotional place I was in at this time last year when I made that decision. I was trying to do something to make my life better, but it was all about weight. I was afraid if I didn't do something I was going to get bigger and bigger. It was about weight and maybe enjoying my life a little more.

I was focused. I was determined. And I knew I was going to be successful at the losing weight part even if it was just modestly. I knew it was going to take time. I wasn't sure if my body would even do it, but I was going to give it an honest effort. I didn't want to be skinny. I just wanted to lose some weight. I wasn't going to think about how much or worry about results until at least summer and then Christmas.

It was going pretty well. By summer, I was feeling a bit happier and I was excited about my move to my new place and I was ready for something to come next after stopping my work with Undead Walking. I was ready to do some light fun exercise again and get back to yoga.

But I was still in pain and exhausted with whatever is the beast of Fibromyalgia. I had lost 40 pounds and I was really happy about that. But I was nowhere near in the happy type of space that I find myself in today.

Finding my trainer and starting the fitness road was something I never saw coming.  That action, that decision that day in August had a huge reaction or consequence. I didn't think I'd be able to exercise like this ever again. That action led to bigger and bigger actions, which led me to where I am today. Actions that are about so much more than weight.

I am happy with losing more weight. I have lost about 25 more pounds since then, but I am happier in a different way about those 25 pounds than the first 40. My body has changed more with those 25 pounds. My diet has changed more with those 25 pounds. My pain has almost disappeared with those 25 pounds. My energy and my joy has returned with the loss of those 25 pounds.

It really is true that a year from now you will be happy that you started now. I am so happy I started a year ago. Now you are full of hopes and wondering and perhaps depression or desperation or any number of emotions, and any action can lead to more action that lead to places you never imagined. My goals for this year are so different from last year's.