Process: The Anti-goal

I love when certain lessons or topics seem to present themselves over and over all of a sudden from the universe. This topic has popped up recently from all over. The idea of being impatient with waiting for results and having goals being more of a hurt than a help sometimes. We've all seen the quotes about living in the moment and enjoying the process.

Process is a word my trainer uses a lot. It's a word that has to be looked at more carefully to really make it mean something and work for you. We talked about it a little today. He talked about how so many people look at what they want and they don't see what it takes to get there: the process. In other words, want vs. need.

If you look at the girls in the gym that you want to look like or be like and just focus on what they look like and don't think about what your actual needs are, you'll inevitably be frustrated. You can't skip steps. And everyone's needs are different.

After I stopped working, I moved to Lombard and then I sort of hibernated and really buried myself into a new world of blogging with Undead Walking as a way of transitioning into life without teaching and living with such exhaustion and pain. When I decided last January to focus on living more in the moment and focusing on myself, my process was very slow.

I pulled everything out of my closets and told myself that I would declutter and organize and if it took me a month to do it because of my pain and fatigue, then so be it. I walked over clothes and stuff for about a month until day by day it slowly disappeared as I chipped away at it an hour or so a day.

When I started dieting in March, I didn't have a goal in mind about how much weight I wanted to lose, I just wanted to start losing. I still don't have a goal. I remember thinking. I want to be smaller by Christmas. I'm not even going to think about it until much later in the year. I'm not going to get frustrated, I'm just going to keep at it.

It's actually more frustrating when people ask how much I want to lose. I don't have a number. I'm happy where I am and I also want to keep losing. It really has allowed me to stay in the moment and be about the process. I feel good as it happens. I'm not focused on how far I have to go or worry if I'm up or down or ruminate on why. It just goes up and down and will eventually keep going down if I stick to it.

I was very lucky to find the trainer I found because he is not focused on goals. He is focused on the process. He doesn't tell me how much weight he is putting on machines. He just puts it on there. He adjusts the exercises for me to make sure I'm progressing and he has the confidence in me to choose things he knows will challenge me, but he also knows I can do if I try.

On the rare occasion he inadvertently chooses something that is too hard for me, he inconspicuously adjusts the weight or somehow adjusts the exercise, but doesn't make a big deal about it. And him telling me a while back not to wear baggy clothes anymore was a big turning point for me. When you feel better, you walk taller and you act like a fit person, even if you are still fluffy!!

The process is the goal. Have fun picking out workout clothes. I have fun washing my workout clothes every week and I hate laundry. Have fun figuring out your healthy meals. Have fun wearing clothes that fit your body. Have fun not judging yourself. Have fun taking care of yourself in other ways. Take care of your skin. Get a massage. Clean your house or go the movies. Take your healthy attitude to the other areas of your life.

Think about what your life would look like if you already looked like the girls in the gym that you think you want to look like. Do those things NOW! You don't need to look like that to do those same things. That is the goal. The process is the goal!